


Earn It

by Nicknack2814



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Gen, Identity Reveal, No Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicknack2814/pseuds/Nicknack2814
Summary: Two head-cannon scenes between Spider-man Homecoming and Infinity War. Peter explains to May why he does what he does, and May makes a point of telling Tony.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first chapter of this fic probably over a year ago now, but I only just finished the second chapter. This was mostly for my own benefit but I like seeing if it strikes with anyone else, too. I love reading MCU fics and the relationship a lot of people have depicted between Tony and Peter being father and son. That said, sometimes it feels like a lot of people forget that Peter did actually have a father (Uncle Ben) and that May is as much his mother as anyone could have been. I was also a bit pissed during Homecoming that Peter never actually stood up to Tony and told him that if he'd just explained that he'd been listening, the whole statton island ferry thing wouldn't have happened. I also felt that Tony needed to hear what was behind the words 'when you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and people get hurt, they get hurt because of you' and I honestly can't commend Tom Holland enough for being able to successfully portray the pain of an entire characters backstory in one line. So anyway...this happened!

"What the fuck?!" May Parker screamed, her brain practically combusting at the sight of her fifteen year old nephew pulling the Spiderman mask off his head.

Peter whirled around to face her, his eyes wide, his arms out and his mouth agape.  
"I...I can explain..." he stuttered weakly.

May opened and closed her mouth a few times, shaking her head and stumbling backwards so she could lean on the couch. Tears stung her eyes as every news report she'd ever read or heard or watched about Spiderman involuntarily swam through her mind. She couldn't breathe and she sure as hell couldn't process what was happening.

"Tell me it's a costume," she pleaded, her voice scratchy as she spoke. " _Please_ Peter, tell me it's a costume..." she whispered, a sob stuck in her throat. 

"Uh, sure," Peter said, his shoulders tensing and his voice tight. He looked hurt, almost. Something May could register above all else. "Yeah, I can tell you it's a costume," he forced a small chuckle and a smile, "it's a costume. Totally. Just a costume-"

"Peter," May mumbled, shaking her head again and scrunching her hair into her fists. "Peter, _why_?"

May's stomach dropped at the look on Peter's face. She couldn't remember seeing him so scared. 

"I...I...I..." Peter muttered and stammered and tried to look at her but it was like his nerves wouldn't let him. He was shaking and trembling, his eyes were growing increasingly red and shiny. "It's, it's a really long story..." he croaked, "and you're not gonna like it." He forced his eyes to meet hers, the pain radiating from them broke her heart in two. "And I don't think you're gonna like me after..." he whispered. 

May took a deep breath and nodded. She stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in tight. "Peter, I love you. Nothing is going to change that, okay?" she murmured in his ear, stroking his head like she used to do when he was little.

"I love you too May, I really do," he sniffed, squeezing her a little tighter. "I really, really, do. And I'm so sorry. I'm so _so_ sorry."

"Peter, I just...I just need to understand," she said softly. 

"I know," Peter said, squeezing her a little tighter. "I know..."

May took another deep breath, unsure how many that was now. She pulled back from Peter and gently gripped his shoulders. "Go change while I make tea, then you can explain it all, okay?" 

Peter nodded in defeat. "Okay..."

May forced herself to move into the kitchen and begin the process of making a hot drink. Her brain still seemed severely disengaged as she went through the motions. She wasn't even sure how she ended up sat on the couch, two mugs in front of her on the coffee table. She chewed softly on the side of her thumb as she listened out and waited for Peter to emerge. 

May turned her head slightly as Peter opened the door. He padded around the couch and shuffled about in the space beside the coffee table, not really sure where to sit. May frowned at him, scanning his face and watching the way he moved. His eyes flickered from the seat beside her to the empty armchair across from her. It was like he wanted to sit with her but he wasn't sure he should.

"Peter..." May said softly. "Please, you've got to tell me what's going on with you right now..."

Peter's eyes were red and he looked like he could barely breathe. May patted the seat beside her and let out a small sigh of relief when he gave in and dropped down into it. 

"Peter," May murmured, turning fully to face him. She settled her hand on his arm and waited patiently. 

Peter cleared his throat, took a deep breath and spoke, his voice shaking as he did. "So, you remember that science expostion I went to last year, right?" 

May nodded, not daring to say a word, he was finally saying something.

"Well, I sort of got distracted and wondered off," he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. His breathing was beginning to slow, but May was sure it probably had something to do with this feeling like the easiest part. "I, well, I ended up somewhere I shouldn't have been and I got bit by this weird looking spider. Turned out, it was kind of radio-active. It gave me these freaky powers..."

May nodded again. "Like what?" she asked, gently stroking Peter's arm as he spoke, trying to soothe him and keep him calm.

"I, uh, I can stick to stuff," he said with a shrug, picking at his hands. "Like the walls and the ceiling. With just my hands and feet."

"Anything else?" 

"I'm super strong," he said. "It takes a lot more to hurt me now than it ever did before."

May gulped but motioned for him to continue.

"My, my senses are like dialled up to eleven now too," he said. "So I can hear things from miles away and see things really clearly from a really long distance. It can get kind of overwhelming but I've learnt to deal with it okay so far."

May smiled a little. "Okay. What about the web stuff? That shoots out of your arms?"

"Oh, I made that myself, and the shooters," Peter said. "Mr Stark gave me an upgrade when we went to Germany-"

"Tony Stark recruited you, didn't he?" May said, trying to keep her voice calm. 

Peter looked up at her, properly meeting her eyes for the first time since he'd come out of his room. "It's not his fault Aunt May, I wouldn't have gone if I didn't want to. And, he gave me this super awesome suit to keep me safe, and he's done nothing but look out for me since we met. He even took my suit away once, because he was trying to get me to stop-"

"That's when you lost the internship, isn't it?" May asked.

Peter nodded. "I got, I got too far in over my head and...and there was this guy that was dealing in alien weapons and-"

"I remember, it was in the news," May said, again trying her best to keep her voice steady. Tony Stark was going to get a talk down, without question. 

"Anyway, he made me give the suit back to him. He'd told me to stay on the ground, be a friendly neighbourhood spiderman and keep out of trouble," Peter said with a shrug. "I didn't listen. I nearly ended up killing a whole bunch of people on the Statton Island Ferry..."

May sighed, not really sure what to say to all that. Her other hand came up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear and she found herself gently stroking the side of his head with her fingertips, another thing she used to do when he was little. 

"Everyone was fine, no thanks to me," Peter said, the scratch in his throat coming back. "Mr Stark had told the FBI and they were there and I completely ruined the whole thing. So he made me give him the suit back-"

"The suit that helped keep you safe?" May asked, again trying not to lose her temper.

Peter nodded. "I think he thought it would stop me from putting myself in a bunch more danger, and it did, for a little while. But then, when I went to Liz's house to meet her for homecoming, her dad answered the door and I recognised him from the ferry. He was like, the lead guy."

May tipped her head, listening intently to all of the things Peter was not saying. 

"So, he drove us to homecoming and on the way kinda figured out I was Spiderman. When we got there, he told me to leave him alone or he'd kill me..."

May couldn't help the little gasp of breath she took in, squeezing her eyes shut, her fingers tightening on Peter's arm. 

"Sorry..." Peter mumbled, clearing his throat. "I knew you'd find this stuff hard to hear..."

"I'm okay, you're okay, it's okay," May said, opening her eyes again and blinking her tears away. Her heart still clenched painfully in her chest but she couldn't let Peter see that. She needed the rest of this story and he needed to let it out and give it to her. 

"So, so I went into the dance and I walked right up to Liz but...I couldn't...I couldn't ignore what I knew and I couldn't just let him keep doing it, so I went after him again. I figured out he was going to steal all the Avenger's stuff from the tower during their move, and I _had_ to stop him. If he'd have managed it, stolen all that stuff, so many people would have been in danger, _so many_..." Peter trailed off, a small part of him hoping that maybe May had forgotten the why portion of the evenings events. 

"Peter, you're fifteen..." May murmured. "Why on earth would you think that any of it, or all of it, should be your responsibility? You're a kid!"

"I just...I have these powers and I figured I should use them for good, you know?" Peter said, his words shaking as his shoulders shrugged up and down. His lower lip trembled and he couldn't meet May's gaze. 

" _Why_?" May pressed, staring intently at him. "You've gotta tell me why Peter, 'cause I can feel that it's more than just a general sense of wanting to do good..."

Peter shook his head and drew in a shakey breath. His eyes swam with tears and he opened and shut his mouth a few times before he managed to get any words out. 

"After, after I was bit," he stammered, clearing his throat as he spoke. "I, I wasn't interested in playing superhero. I didn't even really know what I could do yet..." He sniffed and shook his head again, staring intently at the floor as he continued. "I signed up to, uh, to fight. Like, for money. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Earn a bit of quick cash and use these stupid powers to maybe be someone..."

May sighed. "Peter, you were always someone," she said softly, her fingers running through his hair again.

Peter nodded. "I know," he choked.

May paused and stayed quiet, waiting for the rest of the story, knowing it was in him somewhere and that he'd eventually get it out if she was patient enough. 

"Anyway, one night, there was this guy who broke into the owner's office. He stole a bunch of cash, ran down the hall with it, the security guard wasn't fast enough to catch him..." Peter was pressing his palms together and his body was starting to shake and May could tell he was getting to the bit he didn't want to tell her. 

He took another trembling breath in, trying desperately to control his voice. "The guy, the thief, he was running right for me, like, to pass me, straight towards the door. And the guard, he yelled, and he said ' _hey, stop that guy_ ' like you see them do in the movies and I just..." Peter shrugged, a small sob escaping his lips. "...I didn't stop him. I could've. Easily. With my powers, I could've helped and I could've stopped him. But I didn't. I didn't." 

May's eyes were wide as she watched him shake with untempered remorse and guilt. Tears were streaming steadily down his face as he sobbed openly, having wrapped his arms around himself and leant forward, his head tipped to the floor. 

"Peter-"

"I just, I thought, _what did it have to do with me?_ I thought _it's not my responsibility_...I did _nothing_. I let him run right past me," Peter cried, shaking his head two and fro as his hands came to fist in his hair. He was inconsolable. 

"Peter..." May said, placing a gentle hand on his back as she tried to soothe him. "Peter, it's okay. It's okay...you didn't do anything wrong sweetie. You didn't. You're fifteen years old, with or without powers..." May felt her heart constrict as she watched him shake. "It's okay. It's not your fault. It's not your fault..."

"But it is," Peter sobbed. "It is. It _is_. And it always has been. I let him run right past me. Right past. I saw his face. I know it was him and I could've stopped him! I could've stopped him _before_!" Peter shouted, his hands balled up at his side, knuckles white. 

"Before what?" May asked, frowning. She knew, the minute Peter's shoulders dropped and he froze exactly where he was. The minute he let out the smallest breath imaginable and squeezed his eyes tight shut. 

"Before...before _Ben_ ," Peter whispered. 

May swallowed the massive lump that had formed in her throat and just stared at her nephew. "The man who stole the money, the thief that ran past you, that you didn't help to catch even though you could have..."

Peter nodded, his whole face crumpling even more as he listened to May speak. "Two weeks later...he, he shot Uncle Ben," Peter murmured. 

May watched him quietly for a few moments. Watched the way he rubbed his hands together nervously, the way his breath was ragged and pained. She could see the anguish written on his face, the hurt and the worry all there, plain as day. 

"Peter..." she mumbled, completely unsure about what to say. 

Peter's gaze snapped up to hers and his lip trembled as he spoke. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't...I wanted...if I could go back..."

"Peter..." May mumbled again, staring so intently at him. 

"If you want me to leave, I get it," he blurted. "I totally understand. I can leave. I can go. If that's what you want...I can, I can go..."

May felt her own face start to fall then. She felt her own tears sting her eyes and her throat get hoarse and scratchy. "Oh Peter," she whispered, slipping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him into her. It took a moment for Peter to lean into her, clearly confused and in complete shock. May let her tears fall as she felt his arms slide around her waist, hugging her back, tight as ever.

"I can't believe you've been carrying that around with you for so long, Peter." May wiped her eyes and leaned back, her hands coming to rest on Peter's tear-stained face. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Peter sniffled, his eyes still leaking every few minutes.

"Peter!" May said, shaking him a little. "It's still not your fault! What happened to Ben, it's not your fault. It's not on you."

"But, I could've stopped him May," Peter croaked. "If I'd helped. If I'd stopped the guy, he wouldn't have been on the streets. He wouldn't have been able to shoot Uncle Ben..."

May shook her head and let her hands fall from Peter's face. "You don't know that Peter. He could easily have just shot you. And bulletproof was not on your list of powers earlier..."

Peter rubbed the palms of his hands into the sockets of his eyes. "I know what you're saying. I can't believe you're saying it, but I get it. I just...I know I'm never gonna be able to let this go..."

May sighed and rubbed his back again. "I know...I know you won't." She cleared her throat as it started to close over again. 

"I just, I can't forget it. I can't shake it. _What's it got to do with me?_ It wasn't my problem till it was..."

"Peter," May sighed, hugging him tight again. "So that's why you became Spiderman..."

Peter nodded, his head still resting on her shoulder. "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you."

May squeezed her eyes shut tight as she rubbed her hand up and down Peter's arm. "No matter how much I tell you that you're wrong, you're never going to see it that way, are you?"

Peter shook his head again, a small sniffle escaping as he listened to her. After a small silence, he spoke again, his voice tiny.

"How...how do you not hate me? Even just a little bit?"

May chuckled, the sound watery. "Peter! I could never hate you!" 

"But, if it weren't for me, Ben might still be here," Peter mumbled. 

"That's bullshit," May said, her voice biting with conviction. "Yeah, if you'd done something about the thief, things might have been different. But you have no idea what that difference might have been. _You_ didn't pull the trigger. _You_ didn't shoot him. You weren't even there when he was shot! You were a fifteen year old kid doing what fifteen year olds do!"

"But-"

"Peter I meant it when I said I love you and nothing will change that," May murmured, sitting up to meet his eyes. "I will never blame you for what happened to Ben. It's not your fault. You're powers might be super-human, but that doesn't make you _in_ human. You're not perfect. Nobody is. _Ben_ wasn't. You didn't do it Peter. You didn't kill him. It's not on you. It shouldn't be on you."

"I love you May," Peter murmured, leaning against her again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, kid," May sighed. "No matter how dumb and stupid and reckless you are."  
Peter gave her a half-assed chuckle and sniffed again.


	2. Chapter 2

May Parker cleared her throat and opened the large glass door leading to Tony Stark's office. She approached his secretary and smiled politely. 

"I'm here to see Mr Stark," May said. 

The secretary frowned at her. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No," May shook her head. "But he'll see me."

The secretary rose her eyebrows and looked at her in disbelief. "Mr Stark doesn't see anyone without an appointment."

"Please could you tell him that Peter Parker's Aunt is here." May kept her tone cool and calm, but insistent.

The secretary shook her head. "I'm sorry-"

" _Please_ ," May said. "It's really important."

The secretary chewed on her lip for a moment before nodding, and picking the phone up. "Mr Stark, there's a...?" She looked up at May, realising she never got her name. 

"May Parker."

"A May Parker here to see you. She says she's Peter Parker's nephew, but she doesn't have an appointment." The secretary nodded her head again before hanging up. "You can go in." 

"Thank you," May said, sighing in relief. 

She walked into Tony Stark's office with a millions things to say and no real plan on how to say them. Tony was sat in a plush, high-backed office chair, twiddling with a pen and flashing her his most disarming smile. May scowled at him. She couldn't help it. 

"I've come to talk to you about Peter's extracurricular activities surrounding his internship," she said, her voice shaking slightly. To his credit, Tony's easy smile slid right off his face. May closed the door and came to sit in the seat in front of him.

"You know he's Spiderman," Tony said with a sigh.

May nodded. "I've come to talk to you about _why_ he's Spiderman."

Tony frowned. "Because he's a good kid and he wants to help people."

May shook her head. "Because he feels responsible for the death of his Uncle. Because he let a man walk by once, when he could have done something, and that man killed my husband." 

Tony's face dropped. 

"He told me all this last night, when I discovered his secret," May said, clearing her throat as it closed over somewhat. "So I came to tell you, that when my nephew, my _son_ , sees something he knows will hurt a lot of people, he can't turn away."

Tony nodded. 

"I mean it, Mr Stark." May took a deep, wobbly breath. "I know you took his suit away to try and keep him safe. But the only way you're actually going to keep Peter safe is by talking to him. He's more an adult than most people give him credit for. You can't fob him off with 'the grown-ups are handling it' bullshit, because he can't sit back and do nothing. It cost him too much once before and he won't see it happen again. He'd rather not live at all than live with the knowledge that if he'd done something, things might be different." 

Tony stayed silent for a few minutes, seemingly absorbing everything she'd just said.

"What happened to his parents?" he asked. 

"They died in a plane crash when he was six," May said, shrugging her shoulders softly. 

Tony nodded. 

"I'm not asking you to stop him," May said. "No one can. He'll do this until it kills him." Her voice broke and it took her a moment to compose herself again. "I'm just asking you to help me make sure it doesn't happen in my lifetime. If that's at all possible." She sniffed before taking a deep breath, her eyes centering back on the man in front of her. 

"I can do that," Tony said. "I'm sorry. I didn't know about his Uncle. I mean, I knew your husband had died and that it wasn't an accident but...I didn't know Peter carried that."

"Until last night, I don't think anyone did," she said. 

"And you don't blame him? Not even a little bit?" Tony asked, his voice genuinely curious. 

May tried not to take offence. "How could I blame him? He's...he means as much to me as Ben ever did. He's everything to me. Shit happens and shit _did_ happen. It wasn't Peter's fault. He didn't do anything wrong."

Tony sighed and nodded, running tired hands down his face. 

"My husband was murdered by a bad man. _Peter_ is not bad. Bad things have happened to him, and he's still trying to be the best that he can be," May explained. "He chose to hate himself faster than he chose to hate the world." She shook her head. "He's fifteen. And this feels so unfair and so unjust and yet...if it was anyone else that could do the things Peter can, I'd probably be a lot more afraid."

Tony snorted softly. "He's a good kid."

May shook her head again, hard this time. "No, he's not Mr Stark. He's a great kid. The best kid." She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, every ounce of motherly love and strength shooting straight at him. "And if you _ever_ use my kid to fight _your_ battles for you again, there won't be another pleasant conversation. It'll be a fucking massacre, and no amount of shiny armour will stop me from tearing you apart with my bare hands. Do you understand me?" 

Tony nodded, his eyes a little wide. "I didn't-"

"You did. Germany was your fight. You fell out with your friend and my kid got dragged into it." May stood up, her eyes blazing. "Save the world, I'm down with that. But you and I both know that the world wasn't in danger that day. The whole thing was a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit that no one could agree on, so don't tell me Peter was there to do anything but add some extra firepower to your side."

Tony shut up. 

"He'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Mr Stark," May said, as she turned to leave. "And I'm telling you, if you don't earn that, and he dies doing that...I will _burn_ you." 

Tony stood up as she walked away. "He's lucky to have you," he said, clearing his throat as May stilled with her hand on the doorknob. "He's lucky to have you. I never...when my parents died, no one stepped up to love me the way you love Peter. I'm sorry." He cleared his throat again. "I'll earn it. I promise."

May just nodded, turning the handle and leaving Tony Stark stood in his office, more speechless and far less cocky than he'd ever been. 


End file.
